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Category Archives: Journalism

I ink, therefore I am

On the choice and acquisition of my one and only tattoo. — For The Oldie

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The average salary of professors at Dublin University is £530. — The Nelson Evening Mail, March 14 1907 . The persecution of Christians is now worse than at any time in history. Toto’s ‘Africa’ is one of Myleene Klass’s all-time favourites. The Hillsborough disaster is still in the news. Simon Bolivar, a Venezuelan military and […]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. The Queen won a first prize for bantams at the King’s Lynn Fur and Feather Society’s show. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 6 1909 . In LA there is a chess set designed for the East India Company, featuring Sikh soldiers vs Afghans. Among a certain kind of people, being ‘passionate about Israel/Palestine’ […]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. All over China temples have been turned into schools with surprising alacrity. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 26 1906 . The owl of Minerva flies only at dusk. Though rare, there have been exactly 201 documented cases of spontaneous combustion. J Sainbury plc is cutting 2000 Human Resources employees. The collective noun for brown […]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Only about three in every hundred amateur novel-writers find their way into print, except at their own expense. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 22 1907 . The erection of a verandah is a useful way to extend one’s living quarters. Seven American states observe Abraham Lincoln’s birthday as a public holiday. There is only one […]

An Oxford squaddie

From deer park to gun park… . Sixteen years ago, American and British forces hurled themselves into Afghanistan the same week I arrived at Magdalen College, Oxford. I didn’t give them much thought – although the ‘War on Terror’ was immediately everywhere. I had an Egyptology degree to get to grips with; and choral evensong […]

Turning Japanese stomachs

Confessions of a Mask by Yukio Mishima Penguin, 170pp, £8.99 . Born two years after the Great Earthquake of 1923, in ‘not too good a section of Tokyo’, Kochan is a sickly child, brought up by stultifying parents and a morbid grandmother. His first reliable memory is of the ‘night-soil’ man, and he immediately becomes […]

Veterans of modern wars

In a mid-September interview with the Sunday Telegraph, Baron Richards of Herstmonceux (GCB, CBE, DSO, DL – better known as General David Richards, former Chief of the Defence Staff) made a comment to the effect that “a part-time soldier cannot be as effective as someone who’s devoted his life to it and puts on a […]

NEWS AT A GLANCE

. Volunteers had no recognised existence in England until May, 1859. — The Nelson Evening Mail, September 8 1908 . Everyone in Joe Orton’s social circle was called Kenneth. The word ‘truth’ has no exact equivalent in Welsh. The 8-hour workday doesn’t make sense. Sloths take five seconds to have sex, but a month to digest a […]

Two birds, one stone

Dear Amorist, I recently made a joke about my pregnant wife – and found myself receiving several pointers. ‘Have lots of sex before the baby’s born,’ said one. ‘Watch loads of movies,’ said another. Couldn’t we just watch porn, and kill two birds with one stone? Yours, &c. ASH Smyth, by email