A S H Smyth

– Coffee? Or coffee? – Coffee. – Does either of those have inverted commas? – Yes… Does it matter which? – I guess not.

My father has no fewer than eight pots of coloured ink on his desk. He has written nothing of note. I have a biro, with a missing top. I also have not written anything.

My Railcard actually gives both of us a discount. But I prefer to spend your fiver on beer.

I love taking you to galleries and pretending I don’t ‘get’ the art (while looking at the pashmina girls over your shoulder).

MEMO – start a band called ‘the lower-case Ts’