A S H Smyth

Tread softly because
you’re treading on my Asterix!

There was an old woman who swallowed a fly
(I don’t know why she swallowed a fly);
but she washed it down with a glass of water
and that was the end of the matter.

Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain.
Rain
…….rain
…………..rain
…………………rain
……………………….rain
……………………………..rain
……………………………………rain.
Damned English weather!

You say ketchup;
I say tomato sauce.

You say tomato;
In Hindi they say tamatar.

I say ‘tamatar’;
You say ‘eh?’

Dear [poet’s name here],

I will gladly shell out
for your Collected Poems –
after you’re dead.