A S H Smyth

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The Irish language still lingers in the Bahamas among the mixed descendants of the Hibernian patriots banished by Cromwell to the West Indies. One can occasionally hear black sailors in the London docks, who cannot speak a work of English, talking Irish to the old applewomen whom they meet, and thus making themselves intelligible without a knowledge of the Saxon tongue.

— The Nelson Evening Mail, Thursday, September 6 1906
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Prince Gunarasa Casinader died in December 2018.

Poetry and buggery are twin-born brats.

Most people have no Russian friends.

Elephants chew their nails when they’re nervous.

In Istanbul, iron nails are believed to be the work of the Devil.

Diderot’s smile is a smile of complicity.

Short legs can’t climb tall walls.

Walter Benjamin couldn’t make a cup of tea.

43% of churches face the sunrise on the day of the saint for whom the church was named.

James Joyce’s grandson has died.

Sri Lankans love their exclamation marks!

You have to question a door policy which says no to trainers but a big thumbs-up t0 piss-soaked tramp shoes.

The face book need never be complete.
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The veddahs, or wild hunters, of Ceylon mingle the pounded fibres of soft and decayed wood with the honey on which they feed when meat is not to be obtained.

— The Nelson Evening Mail, Monday, January 21 1907
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Samuel John Taylor Coleridge is the first descendant in more than two centuries to be named after his great-great-great-great-great-uncle the poet.

The Oxford prison is a boutique hotel.

There are no bears at London Zoo.

Native Americans do not care about the name of the Washington Redskins.

If the king laugh, all laugh.

Laser hair removal in Maradana might be cheaper than you think.

Pasternak means ‘parsnip’ in Russian.

Everything is rare somewhere.

Laurie Lee did not drink cider.

Map-makers include mistakes in their work to see if anyone is copying them.

25% of all Welsh males are related to the Welsh nobility.

Richard Branson eats his dinner in 45 minutes.

It takes nothing to cook up a thoroughgoing libel.
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