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Tag Archives: babies

The Pelican

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Or; Some Further Notes Towards the Bestiary To the researches of the antiquary and scholar Jorge Luis ‘Vintage’ Borges, a few points offer further context on that most peripatetic of birds in this, our present century. . Learned reports come from South Asia, where the spotted-bill Filipino pelican (phillipensis) is found, with no small irony, only in Cambodia, the Indian peninsular, and in Sri Lanka (or the contemporary […]

Filed in Fictions | Also tagged America, animals, army, basketball, Borges, British Library, Cambodia, Captain Scott, children, Colombo, Corpus Christi College, daughters, death, Egypt, employment, fables, food, Gartagena, General John Guise, Hebrew, hieroglyphs, Horapollo, India, Jesuits, John Grisham, Joseph Hall, King Lear, murder, oil, pelican, Post-modern Bestiary, psychology, Roald Dahl, Spain, Sri Lanka, St James's Palace, St James's Park, St Jerome, stupidity, the Bible, The Spectator, Thomas Aquinas, US Supreme Court | Comments (0)

difficult second from bottom

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

difficult second album difficult second child difficult second trimester difficult second album syndrome difficult second pregnancy Only Connect: The Difficult Second Quiz Book, by Jack Waley-Cohen difficult second interview questions difficult second baby difficult second coming difficult second novel .

Filed in Poetry | Also tagged difficult second album, Found poetry, Google search results, Jack Waley-Cohen, music, novels, quizzes, the internet, the Messiah | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, October 7, 2019

. The Paris Louvre is in future to be guarded by watch-dogs. — The Nelson Evening Mail, Monday, July 13 1908 . The human population has almost doubled since we landed on the Moon. Genital preferences are transphobic. The third umpire will have the final say on the snatch. It is against the rules to take a […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged Adolf Hitler, anatomy, Argentina, Bertha, business, cell-phones, chewing gum, coconuts, cricket, death, dogs, drink, education, Florence, German, girls, Greeks, history, humans, lambs, law, Nelson Evening Mail, newspapers, Paris, philosophy, satire, singing, Stalin, the Louvre, the moon, West Sussex, wisdom, writing | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, May 13, 2019

. Thomas King was fined 12s, or eight days’ hard labour, at the Thames Police Court for intoxication. While in this state he asked a pawnbroker to advance 2s on a baby. — The Nelson Evening Mail, Wednesday, April 10 1907 . There are 2000 non-functioning satellites in space. Lord Reith did not want people to enjoy […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged Aethelred the Unready, America, anatomy, Ceylon, crime, drink, education, Indians, James Joyce, jungles, Lord Reith, money, Nelson Evening Mail, Panama, radio, religion, seafood, shipping, space, tea, the Japanese, war | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE #1

Thursday, November 8, 2018

A lad named Rogers, and other true-ish stories. — For Queen Mob’s Tea House

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged Alcoholics Anonymous, animals, assassins, Beethoven, books, Caractacus, China, cricket, crime, Dhingra, Epping, Evelyn Waugh, fireworks, geography, health, heroes, horses, music, Nelson Evening Mail, news, Plutarch, pumpkins, Queen Mob's Tea House, race, Rain Men, Regulus, sailors, satire, shit, Sweden, taxes, the Bible, the Congo, theatre, Tom McIlwaine, travel, TV | Comments (0)

Mumsnet

Friday, July 13, 2018

‘Breast milk substitute is the best milk substitute!!’

Filed in Poetry | Also tagged breasts, Mumsnet, the internet, The Pikey Laureate, women | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, March 26, 2018

. High top boots for dogs are now being sold in the shops of New York. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 23 1907 . The first pedestrian has been killed by a self-driving car. Starbucks employees do not capitalise their As. The sound of the bagpipe fattens the sheep and lambs of all Arabia. […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged (il)literacy, academia, Adam Smyth, age, America, Arabia, bagpipes, Canada, cars, Chile, composition, criticism, death, dermatology, dogs, Donald Trump, Easter Island, education, entertainment, fauna, geography, housewares, Justin Trudeau, Mahler, Moldiv, Mount Everest, music, Nelson Evening Mail, New York, Poetry, politics, shopping, Starbucks, Truth, walking | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, December 18, 2017

. Band instruments in use by the Salvation Army are worth £86,000. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 17 1908 . A transgender man has had a baby five years after having one as a woman. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Crown Prince of Dubai, is known as ‘Fazza’. ‘Ein Volk, ein […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged Adolf Hitler, advertising, Alastair Cook, Aristotle, Boris Starling, cricket, crime, death, domestic affairs, Dubai, food, German, health, Hergé, homeopathy, magic, marriage, men, money, music, Nelson Evening Mail, novels, philosophy, religion, royalty, Salvation Army, science, Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, shopping, spies, The Waltons, Tintin, United Arab Emirates, walking, West Malling, Western Australian Cricket Association, women, writers, writing | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, October 16, 2017

. Only about three in every hundred amateur novel-writers find their way into print, except at their own expense. — The Nelson Evening Mail, January 22 1907 . The erection of a verandah is a useful way to extend one’s living quarters. Seven American states observe Abraham Lincoln’s birthday as a public holiday. There is only one […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged Abraham Lincoln, America, architecture, atheism, Barack Obama, breasts, Britain, Chiang Kai-shek, China, Christianity, class, Comic Sans, Communism, crime, domestic affairs, education, Eskimos, finance, French, Germany, grammar, holidays, John le Carré, Judaism, Mormonism, Nelson Evening Mail, novels, religion, sharks, synthetic fibres, the Irish, the Soviet Union, translation, vision, war, writing | Comments (0)

Two birds, one stone

Friday, October 6, 2017

Dear Amorist, I recently made a joke about my pregnant wife – and found myself receiving several pointers. ‘Have lots of sex before the baby’s born,’ said one. ‘Watch loads of movies,’ said another. Couldn’t we just watch porn, and kill two birds with one stone? Yours, &c. ASH Smyth, by email

Filed in correspondence, Journalism | Also tagged advice, birds, film, letters, pornography, pregnancy, sex, The Amorist, women | Comments (0)