A S H Smyth › A hero’s welcome

Skip to content

Tag Archives: women

A hero’s welcome

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Dunkirk – THE UNTOLD STORY!! — For The Oldie

Filed in correspondence, Journalism | Also tagged 11th Armoured Division, 51st Highland Division, 97th (Kent Yeomanry) Field Regiment, army, British Expeditionary Force, Canterbury, champagne, Channel Islands, cricket, Croix de Guerre, D-Day, Dunkirk, Elsie Adeline Cockersell, film, France, Germans, incarceration, James Kingford Carson, Kent, livery companies, love, moustaches, Nazis, Normandy, Royal Artillery, Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers, sea-faring, St Valery-en-Caux, The Oldie, war, Yorkshire | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, December 18, 2017

. Band instruments in use by the Salvation Army are worth £86,000. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 17 1908 . A transgender man has had a baby five years after having one as a woman. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Crown Prince of Dubai, is known as ‘Fazza’. ‘Ein Volk, ein […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged Adolf Hitler, advertising, Alastair Cook, Aristotle, babies, Boris Starling, cricket, crime, death, domestic affairs, Dubai, food, German, health, Hergé, homeopathy, magic, marriage, men, money, music, Nelson Evening Mail, novels, philosophy, religion, royalty, Salvation Army, science, Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, shopping, spies, The Waltons, Tintin, United Arab Emirates, walking, West Malling, Western Australian Cricket Association, writers, writing | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, December 11, 2017

. For use during military manoeuvres the Kaiser has a portable house, made of asbestos. — The Nelson Evening Mail, June 22 1909 . A six-year-old has become a multimillionaire, reviewing toys on YouTube. The US has the world’s 2nd highest prison population, with 693 prisoners per 100,000. Icelandic sea cucumbers fetch £438 per kilogram. ‘Word up’ […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged America, army, asbestos, burgers, children, death, employment, finance, Gary Ross Dahl, Iceland, incarceration, Israel, livery companies, Matt Berry, Nelson Evening Mail, painting, Peter Hitchens, pets, politics, poulters, radio, Reeva Steenkamp, seafood, sex, the Kaiser, toys, YouTube | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, November 13, 2017

. Throughout Denmark there is not one person over 10 years of age who cannot read or write. — The Nelson Evening Mail, September 4 1906 . There is a whale whose voice is too low to communicate with other whales. Seatbelts do not statistically improve your chances of surviving a car accident. London’s Mithraic temple is […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged accidents, advertising, Aeneas, anatomy, archaeology, Aung San Suu Kyi, Basque, Bell's, Bloomberg, cars, Christmas, cliché, criticism, Daniel O'Donnell, Dante, Denmark, drink, education, Euclid, Facebook, finance, humans, John Lewis, law, limbo, London, maths, Missouri, Mithras, music, Myanmar, Nelson Evening Mail, Nicholas Lezard, Nobel Peace Prize, nomenclature, philosophy, Poetry, politics, religion, sex, singing, the West, traditions, whales, whisky | Comments (0)

Two birds, one stone

Friday, October 6, 2017

Dear Amorist, I recently made a joke about my pregnant wife – and found myself receiving several pointers. ‘Have lots of sex before the baby’s born,’ said one. ‘Watch loads of movies,’ said another. Couldn’t we just watch porn, and kill two birds with one stone? Yours, &c. ASH Smyth, by email

Filed in correspondence, Journalism | Also tagged advice, babies, birds, film, letters, pornography, pregnancy, sex, The Amorist | Comments (0)

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, September 11, 2017

. Miss Mary Elsen, of Chicago, is suing Dr. Charles Weser, a local doctor, for 60 breaches of promise during a four years’ courtship. — The Nelson Evening Mail, June 22 1912 . Soldiers are quite fond of children. Chopsticks are the reason the Chinese never invented custard. The senior members of the House of Commons are not […]

Filed in Journalism, NEWS AT A GLANCE | Also tagged actors, Americans, army, Belgium, chickens, clothing, custard, dairy, Elton Jantjies, Epicurus, fleas, French, hair care, Karl Marx, Nelson Evening Mail, Penge East, politics, religion, Richard E Grant, romance, rugby, sex, shopping, South Africans, statuary, the Chinese, The Erotic Review, Tiberias, vanity | Comments (0)

PostSecret

Saturday, March 11, 2017

When my wife’s not here I use her toothbrush as a beard-comb.

Filed in Non-fictions | Also tagged beards, dentistry, marriage, men, micro-non-fiction, PostSecret | Comments (0)

The Top Fifteen Or So Wittiest Oscar Wilde Quotes – according to his Twitter output (last 24hrs)

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

1) ‘Think tattoos have to be bold and dark? Think again! Check out these stunning white ink tats!’ 2) ‘You can’t get your childhood back but you can recreate it! Check out these awesome recreation photos.’ 3) ‘Wanna see a real-life Barbie doll? This is not Photoshopped! You’ve gotta see this to believe it’ 4) […]

Filed in Non-fictions | Also tagged Barbie, foxes, girlfriends, humour, kissing, marriage, men, Miley Cyrus, Morrissey, New York Jets, Oscar Wilde, photography, Photoshop, piercings, pregnancy, tattoos, Taylor Swift, technology, the internet, The Pikey Laureate | Comments (0)

How d’you make a Maltese cross?

Friday, October 9, 2015

Fuck his missus.

Filed in Jokes | Also tagged humour, Malta, men, sex | Comments (0)

Love letter (hi/hi!/hey there/info)

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Whats’s up/Hey cutie/hottie/handsom, I saw you on a match/dating site sometime last week, i got some/sum goodpic/goodpix/naughtypic/dirtypix/freakypic 4/for you/ya.. message/sms/txt/text my num/numbr/# real quick/fast its 1-208-621-5702/848~565~2757/+12089036473/702.847.0394/702~729~2770. I’m/Im just a 23/24/25 year old gal/female. Im/I’m looking to meet new guys/friends/people and maybe hookup. message/txt/sms/text me if/when you/u get a min/chance/moment plz/please.

Filed in Poetry | Also tagged cell-phones, e-mail, photography, sex, spam, text | Comments (0)