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Category Archives: Poetry

Poem about everything

Things are as they are. Must one write a damn poem about everything?

absentia

You told me to let go. So I did.

Girlishness

I think what I like most about your 8″ black rubber cock is the pink satin bag you keep it in.

Tender

Life with me will be bad for your sleep wallet liver relationship with your parents/friends chances of getting into heaven* (though not necessarily in that order). But I’d like to think it’s still worth a shot. * optional

Blood

Funny thing about blood: it smells exactly like old copper money.

The act of love (pace Roger McGough)

The act of love is to love what engineering is to physics – application, relevance, without which there’d not be much point.

from ‘Verses in Honour of the great Scots poet Sir William Topaz McGonagall, on the occasion of the Feast of St Andrew, this day the 30th November, the Year of Our Lord 2010’

Three cheers fer William McGonagall! Ye should read his peerless poetry… all y’all.

Haikus are like

postcards – no matter how concise you may be, you tend to run out of

Silence

My Yr9 class did not do their homework. Now they are being punished.

Rain

Rain is – as they say in the army – ‘just wet. It ‘ll dry, you bastards!’