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Tag Archives: micro-fiction

Brag

Give me a phone and an e-mail account and I can get any woman into bed. Almost any woman. Any literate woman. With an above-average sense of humour. And a penchant for high-wire irony. Any woman I want.

Takes two

When my girlfriend told me she’d cheated, I said that I had too. It seemed the quickest way to hurt her. And to spare her sorrow.

The wife’s take on narrative

“I thought I was going to sneeze. But I didn’t.”

Answerphone

That message that you never left… I just got it.

Opening line of great novel noir

The Englishman is not English. But that is a detail.

Newsnight, summarised

‘With respect: you’re an idiot.’

Graphology (preliminary results)

Man A has the handwriting of an intellectual. Which is to say ‘of a child’. (Which is to say ‘of a child intellectual’. Not ‘an intellectual child’.)

If your love were true…

I can’t help but feel that at some point in the last two years you’d have learned how to use the conditional tense.

Was ist Lydia? (homage)

I  If only I’d been born Lydia Davis I’d have written a lot less.   II  The Lydia Davis School of Banter – Call me, bitch. – Don’t call me bitch.   III  Flaubert, revised ‘“A good sentence in prose,” says Flaubert, “should be like a good line in poetry, unchangeable, as rhythmic, as sonorous.”’ […]

Domestic

– Nothing’s ever perfect enough for you, is it? – ‘Perfect enough‘?