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Tag Archives: sex

NEWS AT A GLANCE

Monday, February 6, 2017

. The telephone has a tendency to render the girl operators left-eared. — The Nelson Evening Mail, July 4 1908 . Eight wickets for eight runs is the worst batting collapse in Twenty20 international cricket. St Blaise is the patron saint of sore throats, and of knitting. Estonian literature suffers from a dearth of stories […]

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How d’you make a Maltese cross?

Friday, October 9, 2015

Fuck his missus.

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Love letter (hi/hi!/hey there/info)

Thursday, April 30, 2015

Whats’s up/Hey cutie/hottie/handsom, I saw you on a match/dating site sometime last week, i got some/sum goodpic/goodpix/naughtypic/dirtypix/freakypic 4/for you/ya.. message/sms/txt/text my num/numbr/# real quick/fast its 1-208-621-5702/848~565~2757/+12089036473/702.847.0394/702~729~2770. I’m/Im just a 23/24/25 year old gal/female. Im/I’m looking to meet new guys/friends/people and maybe hookup. message/txt/sms/text me if/when you/u get a min/chance/moment plz/please.

Filed in Poetry | Also tagged , , , , , | Comments (0)

Junk mail poem

Thursday, January 29, 2015

This trick makes young women fuck you (recovered 5:42pm, Thursday 29th January, 2015) You can use this trick on a girl you know right now – or you can use it on a completely NEW woman to get her horny. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you look like because this trick […]

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Eight debut novels

Monday, September 1, 2014

Currently sitting at 12 to 1 for this year’s Booker Prize, first-time novelist Paul Kingsnorth has set the cat among the pigeons through the disarmingly original expedient of submitting his offering in a fictional language. Composed in what Kingsnorth calls the ‘shadow tongue’ of ‘eald anglisc’, The Wake (Unbound 365pp £16.99) explores one angle of […]

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Feats of Klay

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Redeployment By Phil Klay (Canongate, 291pp, £15) ‘Nobody wants to do a year in Iraq’, mutters one of the narrators in Phil Klay’s Redeployment, ‘and come back with nothing but stories about the soft-serve ice-cream machine at the embassy cafeteria.’ No kidding. And Klay (rhymes with ‘guy’) will not have been the first soldier, American […]

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Found

Monday, December 2, 2013

3 times in the Literary Review (October edition): ‘cunts’ – or variant thereof.* What do I win?

Filed in Poetry | Also tagged , , , , | Comments (0)

Why my ex-wife and I didn’t have that much sex

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

She thought it was normal to be in bed at 10 o’clock. I thought it was normal to be in bed at 10 o’clock. Pretty soon, it turned out there were two 10 o’clocks.

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theASHtray, vol.6

Saturday, March 10, 2012

This week delving into the mysteries of Blood Cars, the Olympics, the (very) near future, the poppiest of pop literature, Antarctic exploration, organ donation – of both the voluntary and involuntary sort – and questionable legal defences in late-C.20th Caribbean culture. — For theartsdesk

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Brag

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Give me a phone and an e-mail account and I can get any woman into bed. Almost any woman. Any literate woman. With an above-average sense of humour. And a penchant for high-wire irony. Any woman I want.

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